Mother’s Day

12 May 2013


I love what I do…and even more, I love that, in what I do, I get to meet lots and lots and lots of mothers.

I love seeing mothers who are just brand-new at mothering.  And I love meeting mothers who are about to send their not-so-little ones out of the nest.

But I have noticed that something strange happens to us, women, when we become mothers.  We put our children first. (Of course, we’re there to care for them!) But we also pull ourselves out of the picture (literally!). Most of my mum’s tell me that their portrait session is all about the kids. Many of them are reluctant to step in front of my lens.

I can’t point any fingers. I am describing who I used to be.  I have hard drives full of images of my daughter. Only a handful of those include me.  My excuse: I’m the photographer. I’m behind the camera.

This year, I decided to take on a personal self-portrait project. This project is the best thing I have ever done. Yes, I’m capturing me. But more so, I’m capturing my daughter and I together.  She loves nothing more than getting involved when I set up the tripod and the remote….and I…well, I adore these pictures of us together.

Happy Mother’s day to my mom and to all the moms out there.

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Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis: Our Journey 9 Months On…

15 January 2013

Nine months ago, my life changed.  Enormously.  My then bubbly, cheeky, active three-year old was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.  (I blogged about it here.)

Back then, I didn’t know JRA existed.  Today, I know a whole lot more…and my bubbly, cheeky, active four-year old girl still has JRA with the added dangerous complication of Uveitis (inflammation in her eyes.)

The last nine months of our journey have been so many things: emotional, challenging, time-intensive, educational, magical, all encompassing, full of gifts, full of sadness, full of growth.

In part, due to my belief in alternative as well as Western medicine, we now have a team of people working for my little girl.  We have a rheumatologist, an ophthalmologist, a functional doctor, a kinesiologist/homeopath, an osteopath and a pharmacist at Boots with whom I am now on a first-name basis. All of the teachers at school support us and help me to give her her meds when needed.  Friends and almost-strangers have sent me their encouragement, support and advice via Facebook.  For all of this, I am grateful.

I have learned so much…about the immune system, about food, about supplements.  I now cook regularly with coconut products that I never previously knew existed.  And because my daughter eats no wheat (along with a slew of other things), my own diet has changed for the better.

I had hoped, as every mother would, that our journey with JRA would be a simple one. Some children with this disease do heal and end up in remission. I had hoped that, through alternative medicine and lots of dietary care, this would be our story.  It may still be. But I now find myself having to strongly consider starting my daughter on Methotrexate, a serious drug with serious side effects. This is not an easy decision.  There are no easy answers.

Nine months ago, rather naively, I wrote:

1. In everything, there is always a gift.

2. Ask for help.  It will arrive…somehow.

3. Trust. And believe. Always for the best.

I still believe these three things are true.  But perhaps I might add a fourth….

4. Embrace your challenges. Make friends with them. In thanking them, you will find a way through.

I will let you know when we do.

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Our Babies and their Schedules…

28 September 2012

Time. Schedules. Being early. Being late.  How wonderful that our children have no concept of time…and how frustrating! Over and over, I hear myself saying to my daughter, ‘Hurry. We are late!’  And ‘Hurry!’ doesn’t make her move any faster.

With little ones, things take the time they take. Babies arrive on their own schedule. Children travel at their own speed in their own world. My daughter often takes 15 minutes to put on her shoes.

But then, every once in a while out of this slowness, I receive a gift.  Just last night, as I was hurrying her along, she stopped to look at a plant in a neighbour’s garden.  She reached out to touch the leaves.  ’Mama, come see,’ she said.  ’These are so soft.’

And they were.  A detail in a moment that I would have missed in my busy day.  Thank you, Phoebe.

Speaking of details and time…isn’t this little one gorgeous? He decided to arrive 6 weeks early and was 11 weeks when I had the chance to photograph him.

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A Child’s Eyes…

19 September 2012

The more I photograph, the more I am fascinated by eyes….their infinite expression, their constant state of change, their ability to catch and hold light.

Here is my girl, yesterday, after her nap. Operations and doctors are the theme of my week. We go to Oxford tomorrow for an operation to reduce the swelling in Phoebe’s knee. If I may ask again, please send us your thoughts, prayers and healing wishes….

ps. You will all be thrilled to hear that my father was released from hospital yesterday. Now its time for physio and a new diet to take care of his heart. Hoorah!

 

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Four Tips for taking Great Summertime Photographs of your Kids

24 July 2012

Yes, I’m a photographer mama. You would think that it would be easy for me to create magical portraits of my girl.  But actually the opposite is true.  It takes conscious effort to head out with all of my (heavy) gear.  It takes planning to get little Miss P dressed in something appropriate. And it takes a lot of cheerleading to get her into a cooperative mood.  (You may remember that she started scowling at the sight of a camera earlier this year.)

With all of our dreary weather and the drama in our lives, it had been waaay too long. Sunday with its bright sunshine changed all that and we headed to the Long Walk for a mini session.  If any of you Mama’s are looking to do the same, here are a few tips that may help with the bright light.

1. Give your child something to do.  The bright sun feels wonderful, but it is awful for photographs.  Harsh shadows, squinty eyes…yuck.  If your child is doing something, it won’t matter as much if she doesn’t look into the camera, or if those shadows appear.  In fact, Little Miss P started playing with her shadow as she scooted. :)

2. Find the shade…or wear shades.  Contrary to popular belief, one of the best place for summer portraits is in a solid bit of shade. On bright days, there is usually enough reflected light for most cameras.  Just beware of dappled light. If worse comes to worst, and you can’t find shade, pop on those shades.  Instant summertime cool and no more squinty eyes.

3.  Move around your child.  You may be surprised how much the shade light will change depending on your shooting angle.  Try lots of them to find the best result.

4.  Don’t forget those details.  Lastly, what about the small things that catch your child’s attention? A bug. A flower. The dog. Try to capture the little things that make up the story of your day. They will probably make you smile when you look back…

Good luck! Have fun….

 

 

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Motherhood meets Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis

7 June 2012

This has been a difficult post to write.  In fact, you may have noticed that it has been difficult for me to write at all in the last few weeks.  You see, two weeks ago, my little girl was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis.  What a bombshell for me.  As parents, we all like to think that our children are perfect.  They are, or should be, the BEST of us. Right?

Recently, I wrote about the terrible three’s.  Ok, yes….seeing your child spit on the floor, hit the dog and yell at the top of her lungs (just to test you…) does make you question the utter perfection of one’s offspring.  But to realise she might have a disease with serious life implications…let’s just say this has thrown me sideways.

If I’m honest, part of me is still sideways, lying on the floor. Part of me wants to stay that way.  But part of me has started to see…and be amazed…by the little miracles that are happening around me:  Amazing support in person and online.  An ad-hoc clinic that gets us into the rheumatologist in a day (This never happens with the NHS!) Dots connecting as friends recommend incredible resourses that span both Western and alternative medical practices.  A blog post offering the perfect, yummy recipe that suits our new restricted diet. My daughter’s new restricted diet actually helps ME to feel better…A brilliant doctor who can’t take us on as a patient but who is willing to do a Skype consultation…for free! Wonderful support and care from my homeopath/kinesiologist.

The little miracles keep happening. I don’t exactly know where this journey is taking us. Nor do I understand why. And every day is hard as I watch Phoebe limp or cry because of her knee.  Every day a part of me worries for her. But I have written the following on my inspiration board just so that every day I will remember…

1. In everything, there is always a gift.

2. Ask for help.  It will arrive…somehow.

3. Trust. And believe. Always for the best.

I’ll keep you posted on our progress…

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Mushrooms and Child Portraits

11 May 2012

Mushrooms:  Brown. Boring? And every so slightly covered in dirt.  I must admit, I have never before photographed a mushroom before.  But yesterday, something made me do it…Just before I popped them into the chicken stew (which was yummy, by the way.)

And though I appreciate a pretty mushroom photo, full of bokeh from the rain-spattered window, I appreciate even more the photo that it helped me to get.  And the reminder that sometimes, the best way to take a photo of your child is to NOT take it.

You see, as I was cooking (and being photographically inspired by fungi), Phoebe was eating her snack at the side counter. I told her I was going to photograph the mushrooms.  She watched me do it…and then watched me put the camera down.  Suddenly, she said, ‘Look at me Mama! Take my photo.’ And voila:

Another mushroom photo lead to more Phoebe posing:

(though I’m not sure Harry was too pleased to be included…)

So how can you get your children excited by your camera? This may sound over-simple but…Involve them, and don’t TRY to take their photo.

1. Ask them what you should photograph. Pick an object in the room and set up a still life shot.  It doesn’t really matter what it is: coffee cup, apple, flower, stuffed toy.  Let your child place it somewhere and take a few shots of it. Make this a game and do it often.

2. Show them the images on the back of the camera.  (Kids love to see what you are creating. Dads love this too!)

3. Let your child press the shutter. Phoebe has one of my old point-and-shoot cameras.  She takes lots of photos of the floor and the ceiling.  And sometimes some of half my face. She loves it.

4. Be excited by what you are doing…or at least, don’t keep your enthusiasm to yourself.  Enthusiasm is infectious.

5.  Ask.  Always ask your child if you can take his picture.  If he says no, then respect the answer.  Sometimes, you will get a yes.  :)

Do you have any other suggestions or ideas that have worked for you?  Please share them in the comments below.

Here’s to mushrooms and children.  Have a wonderful weekend!

ps…it’s actually sunny here! Who-hoo! :)

 

 

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A Three-Year Old World…

24 April 2012

To be blatantly honest, this three-year old world has caught me by surprise.  I was ready for two…those TERRIBLE twos.  Guess what…they never happened.  But three, oh my goodness…

Tantrums, talking back, hitting, throwing and yelling ‘No!’. Oh yes, these happen regularly in my house.  And did I mention the whining?

But this tumultuous world also has it’s gifts:  We have story time and she ‘reads’ to me. We make art. She draws, then folds, then tapes paper into little packages.  Each morning, she brings me a muslin and a cuddly toy to hold.  She chooses plates and silverware and puts them on the table. We find fairies in the house. Sometimes they are the cause of all the naughtiness. And sometimes they join us for breakfast. In this three-year old world, we have best friends. We have walks and lunches and she asks to hold my hand.

Perhaps three is like our recent weather. Rainy, stormy and changeable with swaths of amazing color and beauty…

 

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Please Mama, put your camera away…

18 April 2012

If you’ve been following me on Flickr, you know that I’ve been working on a 366 project of my daughter.  Most days, I take her photo.  Yes, sometimes I miss a day. And yes, sometimes I just can’t resist shooting a pretty flower but Phoebe is my muse…and my subject.  But what if she doesn’t want to be? 

This weekend I came to the sad realisation that she was getting GOOD at avoiding my lens.  After three months of almost constant camera-in-her-face, she knows when I turn the Nikon on. And she looks everywhere but at me.  Or, she freezes her expression into a vacant no-one-is-home look. That girl can turn her eyes off in an instant.

Perhaps it is only me, I wondered? But when she declined to have a good friend take her picture, I knew something had to change.

I truly believe that photography should be fun…for everyone! Photography is about catching the best bits of life: the love, the detail, the emotion and the connection that we want to remember. Cameras are not torture devices.  And no matter how good the light, or how special the moment, I don’t use mine in that way.

So…my 366 will no longer be just about Phoebe.  It will be more about my life and all of the things in it.  I hope, hope, hope Phoebe will feature happily and frequently.  But only if she wants to do so.

Last night, she surprised me by asking me to take her photo.  Save for straightening her hat, I didn’t direct or guide her.  She made her own faces. I showed her the images on the back of the camera. And she asked me to take a few more.  And then we were done. It was time for bed. And that was enough…

 

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A Day Out at London Zoo

20 March 2012

London Zoo.  What a place of fascination!  From my very first trip to London, nearly 15 years ago….when I traveled on business, to stay on the edge of Regent’s park…and ran some mornings through the park, up Primrose Hill by the monkeys and the giraffes watching out at the people…I have wondered how it would be. After all, a zoo…in the middle of a city?

Last weekend, finally, I took my wondering to the zoo…with my very big lens and my daughter. And actually, it was a wonderful day out. Phoebe adored the animals. She pet the goats. She laughed at the monkeys. She obsessed over seeing the ‘mingos and lamented missing the butterflies.  If I ask her now, she still says that her favourite animal was the bunny (yes, a regular old, garden-variety bunny) but she remembers the rest fondly too.

I stumbled across a quote by Thomas French:  ’Despite all their flaws, zoos wake us up. They invite us to step outside our basic assumptions…they shake us into recognising the possibilities….’  Indeed.

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